One of these days I will be able to start a blog post without profusely apologizing for my neglect and absence. But that day is definitely not today, so once again I’m sorry for my lack of consistency. I guess I’ve just been too busy living life to sit down and write about it, which is a bit of a lie since I always seem to have time to nap and watch ridiculous online webisodes that delve into the inner workings of creepy sorority life. Yet, looking back on this past week I’ve realized how busy I really have been and how I came to a conclusion this week based off random, seemingly unconnected events. And these events would normally be extremely taxing and cause me a great deal of emotional stress, however I dealt with them as I digested a recent piece of advice. It’s my life, and I need to put myself first, I cannot be afraid to be selfish. Let me clarify, by putting myself first I need to remain aware that this is my life and my day to day existence is my own way to change and grow. I should be experiencing new things, I should be surrounding myself with different people and moving on from those who no longer belong in my life. I have the ability and the right to change who I am and my life as I see fit, I should not feel guilty for wanting to make changes, or for the way life has changed me.
I received some wise words of wisdom one Thursday night, “Things change people, and people change things.” We are constantly being thrusted forward and developing further as individuals, it is a never-ending process. As a day-to-day calendar informed me once, “No matter one’s age we are all in the research and development stage of our lives.” We never cease to grow and change, no matter how comfortable we might become with the person that we are. And that’s the true beauty of life; that we are in a perpetual state of metamorphosis, and anything and everything can the power to impact and influence us to become better individuals. But out of that vast multitude of ‘anything and everythings’ it is the people we meet throughout our lives that have the most profound effect upon the person we become.
I learned that this week that not everyone is going to be your best friend, but that does not mean they don’t have something valuable to offer you. In the end, people change people. We are influenced by our friends and we strive to emulate their strengths and in return we help them banish their weaknesses. No doubt, you envy something different about each of your friends, or even just acquaintances, and that instigates you to be more like them, not in an unoriginal way, it simply brings to light a means for personal improvement. I am always enchanted by the friends of mine who just light up a room with their entrance; they are so outgoing and at ease that I wish I could have just an ounce of that comfort . There are those whose style and natural grace I would kill to have, those whose wit never fails and those who always make a positive impression on everyone around them. College has exposed me to such a wide array of people with different strengths, that I find myself constantly pushing myself to improve, constantly finding ways in which to further better my self. And I owe that all to the amazing group of people that I have suddenly found myself surrounded by. They are all so different from me, yet that is helping me in the long run, as it polishes off facets of my personality that I never knew existed. Everyone is so different from me that is offering so much room for improvement and positive change and I’m grateful for every second of it and for every one of these great individuals.
Even those I don’t personally like still have a major impact. It is by spending time with those with less than desirable personalities that I have been made aware of what I will never want to be. They have influenced me in that I have noticed what I want to avoid becoming. And that is just as valuable as those that bring joy and happiness. But as I change more and more into the person I want to be, I’ve come to accept that I can’t, and don’t, and shouldn’t hold on to those that are holding me back. It is OK to move on, to rid my life of that which is causing me harm. “I’m currently making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you’re one of them!” As I strive for improvement I have no choice but eradicate those that are holding me back. It isn’t mean or vindictive, selfish, sure, but then again I have the right to be selfish with my own well-being. Sometimes people come into your life just to help change a small piece of you and then they exit. And that’s OK, and I’ve finally come to accept that as well.
And, although I might love an individual and I might have experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, all the while we were both changing and it’s very possible that our influence on one another begins to wane when we find our lifestyles diverging from one another. It isn’t snobby or elitist to follow my own path, to continue to change and take on new challenges and do what feels right to me, even if that means sacrificing time with an individual. People change things and things change people. Although I might still be really close with someone, in the end, our lives can become very different from one another and instead of grappling for the past and the way things used to be, I need to move forward and let things work out as they are and will be. I cannot let the past hold me back from moving forward. I need to continue to let other people influence me, otherwise I will never make an ounce of progress.
As Barefoot Truth explains, “you need healing because change is coming.” Change cannot come forth if you aren’t healed— "Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn't you-all of the expectations, all of the beliefs -and becoming who you are."
I’ve learned a lot this past week about relationships and the way they really influence and impact my life, for better or worse. People constantly have the power and ability to make me a better individual, therefore I will continue to surround myself with a great bunch of people and not feel guilty when I cut off those that have nothing to offer. Life is too short for me to struggle to influence others who are too stubborn to receive help, I’d rather focus on myself and move forward, embracing all of the positive change that it entails. And I cannot allow myself to remain frozen in time, hoping to preserve something that has long since slipped through my fingers, as life probably intended it to, life goes on, things change people and people change things. And I fully understand that now. More importantly, I accept it.
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