Typically, I'm not a fan of overly romantic things. And normally I would never post anything like this, however, I do think the simplest things are the sweetest. And that its the tiniest things that reassure you about your decisions and choices. And this story actually made me smile. A lot. And that's rare. Because this is my definition of adorable. So I decided to share. Because I'm nice like that. Also, as a nod to my first day of my Intro to Creative Nonfiction class.
Glamour, a prime example of high quality, informative journalism..., did this spread called "How I knew," comprised of guy's memory's about "How I knew I would Really Marry Her," "How I knew I was going to Cheat," "How I knew she was the one," ETC. My absolute favorite, in fact the only one worth mentioning, is Adam Sternbergh's, entitled "How I Knew She Wasn't the One." Sternbergh is an editor at large at New York Magazine (not that that is relevant to the story at all, but maybe it accounts for why the article is so well written. Maybe not, what do I know)?
HOW I KNEW...
She Wasn't The One
"It's often difficult to pinpoint the exact moment when you know she's The One. But it's often really, really easy to pinpoint the exact moment when you knew she wasn't. Here are five such moment:
1. I was living downtown, and you were living in the suburbs. It was all very Billy Joel "Uptown Girl," except for when you came down to meet me for breakfast for the first time at my favorite greasy spoon and declared, "Oh my God, I didn't realize people actually lived down here!" And that's when I knew you were not The One.
2. You walked into my apartment and said, "Wow. You sure have a lot of books. Did you actually read all of these?" In your defense, I do have a lot of books. Maybe even more than you'd reasonably expect to find in the apartment of, you know, a writer. But the "Did you actually read all of these?" part made me worry that either (a) you think maybe I bought them in bulk from Ikea as decoration, or (b) you regard reading books not as something fun and essential but something your second-grade teacher used to make you do. Either way, you were lovely, and I wish you well, but that's when I knew you were not The One.
3. Leaving the movie theater with you, I spotted a Star Wars poster. Like a complete nerd, I floated the ultimate romantic trial balloon: "Hey, look--they're re-releasing Star Wars," I said nonchalantly, as if it was no big deal and not, you know, the biggest deal ever. To which you said, "I love Star Wars." And that's when I though, OMG, maybe you are The One. Then you said, "The Ewoks are the best! So adorable!" Not The One.
4. You wrote in your online-dating profile, "NO CRAZIES." You know who writes "no crazies" in all caps on their online-dating profile? Crazies. SO THAT'S WHEN I KNEW YOU WERE NOT THE ONE.
5. We were walking outside after a particularly successful date. It was only a few weeks into our relationship and about a month before Christmas. Leafless trees sprouted up from the snow banks, and I looked up at an apartment building and thought, You know, it sure is nice when people take time to put lights out on their balconies. I was about to say this to you when you said, "You know what I really like? When people put lights on their balconies for the holidays. It's such a small effort, but it makes things so beautiful." And that's when I knew you were not--oh, wait. You were The One. We're getting married next spring.
I don't know, this just makes me smile. I guess because one thing, one moment, above all of the other stupid, wrong, embarrassing, idiotic ones can mean absolutely everything. And I guess, to me, that's love. I'm also completely envious of Sternbergh because his voice comes through so beautifully in this and its compelling and short and sweet and most definitely, to the point.
