Have a lovely day!

"So step back for a moment to analyze all that you've achieved. And tell me was it what you wanted? Did it make you happy? Or had you been deceived?"

Happy Twenty-Eleven my fellow fa-la-la-ers...

If 2011 could talk, I think this is what it would have said to (warned) me at midnight:

Resolution. Anyone see a problem with that word? Look at it. RE. solution. Why would I RE solve something I’ve already solved? If I already HAVE the solution to a problem, why would I redo the entire problem? Mmm, 2011, I have a life, and as unimportant as it might be in the grand scheme of things, I still don’t want to spend it RE SOLVING my life. Especially at the beginning of a brand new year, I’d rather solve, you know, new things. Keep it fresh.

I don’t look to the New Year to solve problems. Rather, I bring anything important I learned from the last year into the new one. Here’s the thing. I don’t LIKE starting out the next 365 days of my life listing my problems that need solving (or rather RE solving). I don’t need a new year to go about remedying my mistakes or bad habits. And I understand it’s basically just a time marker for a new slate for most people, but why do I have to wait until the beginning of a new year to RE-solve my problems. Why don’t I just solve it on March 24, 2010 and be done with the damn thing? I don’t bring “problems” with me into the new year, it has enough of its own it will bestow on me, and they don’t need more friends. Rather, I chose to focus on bettering myself.

I look back on 2010 and take with me realizations I’ve come to, maybe about problems or relationships or just life. And I’m going to use those enlightened thoughts (HA!) to better myself as a person. I think 2010 is critical in making a great 2011. So many people are “GRR BUH-bye 2010,” “Thank god 2010 is over, “ and the classic favorite, “2010 sucked.” I like that it’s a new year, I really do, but stop beating up poor 2010. I’m pretty sure that after 365 days with twenty-eleven you’re going to be sick of her too! I don’t understand how people can shove 2010 aside without a second glance, THAT’S where you should be looking to improve your new year.

That being said, what 2010 taught me is that all of the cool kids hang out OUTSIDE of their comfort zone. They have a myriad of interests, they don’t give a damn what others think and they seem happier than the rest of the population that walks around feeling sorry themselves. You know how I discovered this? By becoming one of those people who took risks and did things that weren’t in my comfort zone. And you know what? Most of, if not all, of my successes and favorite memories from 2010 happened because I tried something new and different. Therefore, in 2011 I’m going to aim to seek out the different and interesting instead of shying away from them. My new years “resolution” is to simply to try new things. Corny, yes? Genius, yes! (well at least to me). Most people hate new things, case in point: when starbucks recently changed their logo and everyone had a conniption fit. It’s just a cup people. The overpriced coffee still tastes the same!

Guess what? It’s only day 9 of 365 and I can already count 4 new things I’ve done:

(So , technically I’ve already achieved my resolution…!)

I despise math, but I guess I can allow counting...

ONE: I actually followed through on advice from a copywriting blog. It was yet another article on how to be a more efficient writer and I’m actually following one of the tips. See I normally just read those, think, “Well this is really smart!” And then never try putting the tips into action. The tip was to pick ONE focus and stick to it, no matter how desperately you want to include information that is very relatable; you have to narrow down your topic for your post. Therefore, I focused this post solely on my resolution, not on the “What 2010 has taught me” collection of writing that has been growing in a saved word document anxiously waiting to be posted. Over the past two days I’ve been attempting to make the two mesh together for a post and, well, it’s been taking two days too long! Enough already, I just want to hit that beautiful 'publish' button. I was trying to fit too much into one narrowed focus, so you know what? 2010 is just going to get it’s own post, it deserves it anyways! Since I finally made this executive decision, I eagerly finished this post, no longer overwhelmed with the need to make an obscene amount of information tie together.

TWO: My friends and I love going to this fabulous Chinese restaurant, but every time we go we order the same thing. This time we ordered two new dishes plus the one beloved signature. I enjoyed the sesame shrimp and “new years party” noodles. And the orange chicken? Not as good as normal. Just saying. THREE: I then purchased a mega millions ticket. Never done that before. Didn’t win, but that’s not really the point, although 355 million dollars would have greatly improved the clout of this theme.

My plan for 2011 is to try more new things. It’s simple enough that I can do it on a daily basis (FOUR: right now I’m blogging from my desk, instead of my bed, a rarity!) but something that can also be applied to more monumental aspects of my life. Because overall, that’s what I gained from 2010, that the more you try, the more you love. And trying new things is actually an obtainable resolution. I’m perplexed when I read other people’s blogs and they are resolving to be more outgoing or to fall in love. Hmm, and how exactly does one resolve to be more outgoing? And love kind of just finds you, it’s not like you rejected it in 2010 when you really desired it; it just didn’t happen. I’m just immensely curious to see how people will put those resolutions into action. Yet what’s funny is, by trying new things I actually achieve other people’s seemingly idealistic resolutions.

Trying new things forces you out of your comfort zone. Which does two things, one scares the living shit out of you sometimes, which is good, because becoming comfortable is boring. It’s when you learn to take risks that you grow more confidence. And then suddenly you’re doing more and more that you would otherwise be petrified of. And the more you do outside of your comfort zone the more people you meet, and the greater the diversity of them. And pretty soon you are this charming, outgoing individual and you’re not really quite sure that happened, but it did. Second, it helps you get to know yourself better, and strengthens your self-assurance. So even to those who might have known you since the first grade, you appear a more brighter, confident shining version of you, which people will just love to be around.

And I can’t speak much about love because I’ve had minimal experience when it comes to the romantic kind but I can say that 2010 taught me to try new things when it comes to dating and relationships. I made a dating rule for myself last year that I would give every guy (unless you know, he was a complete creeper) a chance no matter how awful our introduction was, or how wrong I thought he would be for me. Can’t say any of those dates really turned out well, but it also didn’t cost me anything and I had nothing to lose by agreeing to go on ONE date with them. And the awful ones made for some really interesting stories. I wish I had this mantra in high school because I turned down guys who I thought would never be compatible with me, but I never gave them the chance to show me otherwise.

I also always assumed I could never just hook up with a friend. But I tried it. Yeah, I was right all along, it’s not for me. It was for a while, but eventually I couldn’t do it anymore. But I never would have known it wasn’t something I really couldn’t do if I didn’t first try it. Same thing when I first tried an oyster. I looked at it and said there is no way I’m going to enjoy eating this. I ate it and I thought it was disgusting. I was right. But I had to actually try it to know for certain. Doing new things, even if you end up disliking them, still helps you figure out who you are, because it shows you who you aren’t. Or, just what kind of seafood you don’t like.

I started dating someone in 2010. And while I’ve dated before, every new relationship is just that, new and different. This is also the first time I’m dating someone in college. And I’ve actually been extremely patient with this person, which is definitely something new to me since, well I have no patience. And there’s a difference of beliefs between us, but I truly believe that shouldn’t hinder a relationship, so we’re trying this.

I’m very perplexed when people RESOLVE to get a boyfriend in 2011. You need to RESOLVE to do that??? I don’t know, I don’t resolve to “get” a boy, I just live my life hoping to meet someone I click with well enough that I’d want to spend time with. I’ve never been that girl to have a boyfriend for the sake of having a boyfriend. That’s not my goal. I’d rather meet a guy I like so much that I want him to be my boyfriend. But maybe that’s just me. So, for these girls who are RESOLVING to get a boyfriend or fall in love, you just confuse me. Everyone wants love, you’re not RESOLVING to fall into it, it’s not like it was happening in 2010 and you rejected it. The right person just hasn’t come along yet. And there’s nothing wrong with that. You know what’s really the only way to maybe increase your odds of meeting him? Maybe by meeting more people? And when you try new things you increase your interests that connect you with more people. When you open yourself up to dating someone you normally wouldn’t, or pursuing someone who “isn’t your type” (whatever that’s supposed to mean) you increase your odds of finding someone special. And when you do meet that person, don't be afraid to tell them. Let them in, take a risk. And don't be afraid of actually falling for someone. It is scary, it should be, your heart is a huge thing to put on the line. But every once in awhile someone comes along and they are worth it, make sure you recognize that. Maybe instead of resolving to fall in love, you could resolve to open yourself up to the idea that the person you’re probably going to end up loving is the last person you’d expect.

But that’s just how I would go about all of those silly overreaching resolutions. But then again, I’m a 19-year-old college student who thinks $500 cowboy boots are in her budget, so where the hell do I get off giving out advice?

However, I do have the right to take my own advice! And I can tell you I’m going to be trying new things in 2011 because that’s what gave me my best moments in 2010. I left my lovely state of NJ to come to school in the Midwest. And some days I get so irritated by the traveling and the lack of diversity and laid back pace and I ask myself “Why the HELL I am here?” And then I remember, “Oh yeah, because I LIKE it.” Yes, the Midwest has some cons to it, and I can’t say I’d ever want to live here after I graduate, but for the most part, I enjoy going to school in the Midwest. I like that people are more down-to-earth and aren’t running around in a frenzy as though they are late for a meeting with the President when in reality they just need milk from the store. I’m happy I get to spend four years of my life in the Midwest. I’m glad I have this opportunity, because I far from hate it. Yes, it’s very different, and yes, I miss the east coast quite a bit, but for right now in my life I think the Midwest is exactly what I need. And I would never have known that there’s more to Missouri than open space and farms if I didn’t make the decision to come here. It’s something new, maybe not overly exciting, but it’s different and I’m glad to be gaining this experience.

Overall, 2010 taught me the value of trying new things. So guess what 2011, prepare for a plethora of exciting new experiences! My “resolution for twenty-eleven” (Digression: I have decided to refer to 2011 as twenty eleven because it sounds more chic. And it's different!) is to constantly just to try something new and different. Every single day. However, specifically:

· Every time I go out to eat I have to order something I haven't already.

· I’m going to learn something about a person, place and event.

o I’m going to pick someone I admire and am fascinated by and read their biographies and either purchase all their music, watch all their movies or read all their books (all depending on what their career is/was).

o I’m going to pick something obscure (to me at least) and immerse myself in it, at this point I’m leaning towards some type of sport, because it’s not something I would normally choose.

o And I want to follow some major current event and actually comprehend it. Preferably some bit of global news that is often overlooked, and constantly read updates about it and follow the story. Which, as an aspiring journalist I should be doing anyways.

Oh, and I’m also going to learn a new word every week. My vocabulary is in need of some sprucing.

I also think this is going to encourage self-learning and self-motivation. And when I’m in an interview for some position I’d never consider applying for, but it’s new therefore I had to try, and I’m posed with a question, I’ll have this answer that has 7 impressive words and includes some fascinating, obscure fact. It’s this new thing I’m attempting in which I showcase my intelligence instead of coming across as a “legit” college kid.

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" Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost."

Happy Wednesday! Due to my complete and utter disinterest in winter now that the holidays are over I've found myself reminiscing about those glorious, warm, beautiful days of summer. I love the outfit in the third photo. And sitting on windowsills while the sunlight streams in. And daisies are my favorite flower, they remind me of my grandparent's country house in NY. White and open-toed shoes are for the summer only and I love love love the city on a gorgeous summer day. I want my bedroom in my future beach house to look something like this. And of course the first picture is just full of sass and fierceness, both of which are better when its hot. And the pink flamingos just make me happy. Stay warm!

"All we need is a song to forget about it, What we need is a voice to set us free"

I haven’t updated in quite some time. I state the obvious.

I have, however, been keeping up with the blogs of my friends. And I genuinely enjoy reading each and everyone. It makes me so thankful for the people in my life. Reading your thoughts, seeing your creativity, it matters. At least to me it does. So much of who we really are, and who we would like to be, never fully gets translated sometimes. Not because we are inadequate at being our authentic selves, but because we become preoccupied with our own hectic lives that we cut ourselves, and our friends short. Yes, we might spend hours listening to one another, but how many times do you really talk to someone. Do you sit down and listen and recognize what isn’t being said. How many people have ever randomly turned to you and just asked you what your fears are? How many people have you asked?

I’ve noticed that the things we are constantly battling in our heads are sometimes the least spoken ones. This whole semester I’ve been asking people what they are afraid of, what their fears are. And whenever anyone answered me, regardless of what the answer was, they said it as though it was the biggest deal. Like if their fear were actually to happen it would physically break them in two. And I just wonder, if we would fear our fears so much if we realized how often others fear them too. Pretty much every person I talked to was absolutely petrified of failing. Petrified. Many admitted that living without a plan scares them shitless. Most are worried about being alone, or that they will never fall in love. That’s it. Those three. Well, the occasional spider, snake or heights would pop up, but for the most part, it was just these three.

So, more or less, we all fear the same fears. Yet, we never talk about it.

Stupid.

Because maybe if we did we would realize we will never end up truly alone because we all think alike. Maybe if we realized everyone has their own fears we would push aside our fear of failing, because it would dawn on us that the real reason we don’t want to fail is because of what others would think of us. They would still love you. Or they would be too busy with their own fears to care. And, even without scientific data, I can guarantee you every single person at some point in their life has had no plan. Has realized, I have no IDEA what I want to do with my life. I don’t really think any of us have it all planned out. Because it’s going to happen differently anyways. And I also think, after this semester that I’ve realized…

NO ONE has any FUCKING idea what he or she is really doing.

It’s called winging it while appearing to have your life together.

And we are all doing it, praying no one else realizes. Too bad we are all playing the same game. It’d be nice to have companions.

But when I read your blogs and see your updates the veneer of security vanishes and I have the opportunity to really understand how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking and what you wish would be. And I am overcome with thanks, because you are all even more amazing than you appear. You all have so much talent and authenticity that remains unseen.

You all matter to me. I love that for once I get to see your fears, because I can relate. I love that you want to share your interests with the world. I love that you have your own space to just dazzle and shine. Because that’s when I like you best. I’m not thanking you for being a friend. I’m thanking you for being you. Because every blog I visit is different. It is a reflection of you, not of who people think \ you are or perceive you to be, but an honest exposition of who you are and your absolutely superior intentions that usually remain hidden. I love that I get to secretly witness you figure out for yourself what everyone has been telling you for years. I love that you have an outlet, and I love that you let me peek into it.

An extremely good friend of mine (who should really continue blogging, because like HELL you don’t deserve one) and I came up with the 5c’s last year. Classy, confident, character, compassion and cruise control. The 5c’s every woman should practice everyday. And that is emulated in every single one of my friend’s blogs. Every single one.

I get the pleasure of taking a genuine look at your character, not your reputation. You are expressing you, thus you radiate confidence because you are not afraid to be you. Your cruise control, the way you live your life is exposed, and it becomes so clear the type of person you are and how you deal with problems and successes. You do it with class. In all of my friend’s blogs I see more compassion than I do vindictiveness. You are all classy, you write about ideas and experiences, never gossiping or talking ill about people. You all show an enormous amount of compassion, because the way you write about your lives proves you just want someone to understand and care, so that you can do the same in return.

You are all just amazing. That’s really what I’m rambling about. I love the unique person that you are. And I’m not even just talking about my friends with blogs, but those without. Because I know if you did, I would feel the same way. You know who you are. And you don’t compare yourself. You are amazing at being you. And I thank you for that, because your confidence and your personality add so much zest and sparkle to my own life.

I wish people blogged instead of facebooked. Maybe then we’d actually understand each other a little better. And maybe people would realize that it is the quality not the quantity of your friends that matter.

You are beautiful and you are loved. You have nothing to fear. You matter to me. And yes I’m talking to YOU. Just thought you should know, because I don’t think I say it enough. And I think you all deserve to hear it more often.